Oh Boy!! what a rough day I've had today. It was all perfect till I slept last night at 4 am at my friend's place in Lahore. Infact it was fantastic. I had come to Lahore without planning and my dear friend "chona" offered me to stay at his place. Then I called another friend of mine whose birthday I had missed some days ago because I couldn't go to Lahore during Moharram. And he told me that he had also postponed the bonefire because of moharram and that all other friends were at his place and they were just about to begin the party. I drove from Allama Iqbal Town to Laurence Road in minutes and joined my friends. It was great and we all had loads of fun. Then I came back to chona's place where we saw the movie "Tokyo Drift" together. After watching the movie an excellent idea struck me. I thought this was probably the last visit of mine to Lahore for a long time, and no matter what I will not get the chance to do it till then. I made up my mind and woke up at 7:30 sharp to............... well I'd say to see the moon. I parked my car carefully where the moon was supposed to appear and waited for three hours. But alas! the moon never appeared. Here begins the first punch of the day, and it goes on.

I had sent my driver to his relative's place at night and had told him to come to Faisal Town round-about in the morning. After the moon didn't appear, I came back to chona's place and then we both went to pick up the driver. We waited and waited but he never came. We were both starting to get bored so I increased the volume of the radio and closed my eyes and tried to take some rest. Now, I've got that special revolving blue light (neeli batti) on my car that cops have on their cars, although my Dad is not authorized for that but since almost all the police works under him, he thinks its better if I keep it on to avoid any trouble. I was feeling the song on the radio when chona shook me and said, "Muneeb, look there."I opened my eyes and saw a Police Officer sitting in his car and trying to say something to me. I opened my window and here's our conversation. I have translated it into English trying my best to give the exact tempo of the situation:

Officer: Whose car is this?
Me: District and Session Judge.
Officer: Which District And Session Judge and where is he posted?
I came out of the car and told him my Dad's name and that where's he posted.
Officer: He repeated what I had told him and then after some moments said, "You've got "neeli batti" on the roof of your car".
Me: I know!
Officer: You're not authorized for that.
Me: I just looked at him and said nothing.
Officer: It's illegal.
Me: Oright then I'll take it off.
Officer: No, thats not the way. We'll have to challan you.
Me: I looked at him, trying with all my might to stop the chuckle that had got stuck in my throat. Then I just said, very calmly, "Go ahead, Do it".
The officer looked startled because he was expecting me to bend down and beg him to spare me. I folded my arms and leant back on my car, not breaking the eye contact. He then said," Why have you got a green number plate on a private car?
Me: It's a Govt. car.
Officer: Govt.cars have drivers.
Me: I'm here waiting for him.
Officer: Show me that It's a Govt. car.
Me: Go ahead and see for yourself.
The officer got puzzled again. Then asked his subordinate to check the car's number plate. Cops with the officer surrounded us and my dear friend chona came out of the car and stood with me. He clearly looked uncomfortable. The subordinate came after having a look and affirmed that it was a Govt. car.
Now I know what the Officer, who was in fact a DSP, was aiming for. He had somehow thought that I didn't have the liscence and was underage. I do not blame him for this because I don't really look 18, but still he was desperately trying to find something wrong other than the neeli batti so that he could ask me for the liscence. After a pause he said, " Why have you got black paper on your window and windscreen. That's illegal".
Me: It's not paper, they are curtains to block the sunlight.
Officer: But still, they are illegal.
Me:Really?
The officer told his subordinate to check if they were curtains. The subordinate in order to please his boss opened the door and pulled out the curtain almost ripping it apart.
Me: You know they are curtains. Leave it!
The subordinate almost growled at me but let go the curtains.
Now the DSP had given. He said, "Show me your liscence".
Very quietly, I got my liscence out of my vallet and gave it to him. He was dumbstruck. He now had realized that he had no authority to ask me for the liscence because its only the traffic seargents who could. More that he had done it without any need becuase I had already told him about my father and that was all I needed to do. Now, either he could let me go and get embarrased infront of all of his subordinates, or call a seargent and then give me a challan chit and be ready to face all the Judges in Lahore. His badluck, he chose the latter option. He called a seargent using his wireless. Chona looked at me with quiestioning expression on his face. I don't know from where such calmness and patience entered me, I looked at him and said, " I don't care about them at all. I just hope my driver's OK. He doesn't know much about Lahore".
All the cops and the DSP heard me. The seargent came. DSP in order to avoid further insult ordered him to give me a challan chit and confiscate the batti. He went away, I guess with the honour of a martyred soldier. Of course he had cornered the most dangerous ciriminal of the city, hadn't he??


................. to be continued